Like many parents and educators, I loosely read The Anxious Generation about a year and a half ago. I say “loosely” because it is dense.  I skimmed, summarized, and pulled key takeaways. The book argues that the decline in adolescent mental health is tied to a shift from a play-based to a phone-based childhood. Haidt proposes four norms: no smartphones before high school, no social media before 16, phone-free schools, and more independent, real-world play.

After “reading,” I felt excited and ready. At the time, our kids were 4, 5, and 13, and we realized we were already doing it.

People often ask how it’s going. With our two youngest, it’s easy. They’re not iPad kids, and screens are reserved for long travel. That works for us.

Our teenager is where it gets real. She started with a flip phone in 5th grade for safety: calls and texts only. Now, at 14, she has a phone that looks like a smartphone but is still limited: calls, texts, a couple of games, and Spotify. She asks for a “real phone” often. But she’s also watching her peers navigate constant notifications, social pressure, and screen dependency. She’s seen friendships strained and moods impacted. Slowly, she’s starting to understand that our boundaries aren’t punishments, they are setting her up for success in the future.  

The biggest win, though, has been leaning into independent, free play. Our younger kids spend hours outside.  Including but not limited to: riding bikes, digging for worms, solving their own problems, and entertaining themselves without adult direction. It’s not always convenient, and it can be messy, but it’s where confidence and resilience are built. They’re learning how to be bored, how to create, and how to interact in real life.

This approach isn’t perfect. There are moments of doubt, comparison, and pushback. We’re figuring it out as we go.

And so far, it feels right.

This microblog post was a featured post in #slowchathealth’s #microblogmonth event. You can search for all of the featured posts here. Please do follow each of the outstanding contributors on social media (including Shelby Hosmer, the author of this post) and consider writing a microblog post of your own to be shared with the global audience of slowchathealth.com

Pair this blog post with the following:

The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World by Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price

A Day in the Life….of a K-12 PE and Health Teacher by Shelby Hosmer

A More Engaging Pre-Test by Shelby Hosmer