For the past five years, I’ve sat through PD after PD telling teachers to “remember your why,” like somehow thinking back to the beginning would fix the growing disconnect I felt from a job I used to love. Every session made it seem like the solution was inside of me. Like if I just cared harder, worked harder, or stayed positive enough, things would feel okay again.

They didn’t.

It wasn’t until I started therapy that something finally clicked. I hadn’t lost my passion. I was exhausted.

My nervous system was running on empty from constant pressure, nonstop demands, and a system that keeps asking teachers to give more than they have. I wasn’t showing up as the best version of myself because I didn’t have anything left to give.

Therapy helped me stop blaming myself for that. It helped me realize the system is broken, not me.

I started letting go of the idea that my worth was tied to my lessons, productivity, or student outcomes. I learned how to breathe again. How to set boundaries with students and coworkers. How to care deeply without letting the job consume me.

In education, we talk all the time about relationships, SEL, and purpose. And yes, those things matter. But they are not enough to undo years of budget cuts, public distrust, post pandemic stress, weak leadership, and a culture that values output more than people.

At some point, “remember your why” started to feel insulting. Like I was being asked to ignore my frustration for the sake of “the kids.” Like being angry about a toxic work environment somehow meant I was negative, difficult, or “too much.”

But I’ve realized something.

My anger is not something to hide.

It comes from love. Love for my students, for equity, and for what education could be.

My anger isn’t the problem.

It’s my why.

This microblog post was a featured post in #slowchathealth’s #microblogmonth event. You can search for all of the featured posts here. Please do follow each of the outstanding contributors on social media (including Casey Langendorfer, the author of this post) and consider writing a microblog post of your own to be shared with the global audience of slowchathealth.com

Pair this blog post with the following:

Mourning the Athlete I Could Have Been—and Coaching the Next Generation of Women’s Sports to Be Unstoppable by Casey Langendorfer

Rethinking Productivity for School Practitioners by Ryan Fahey

More, More, More! or More Better by Jim Davis