The Transformation

Whenever I tell someone what I do, they look at me like they just ate the
barf jelly bean in the BeanboozledJelly Belly collection. How could you…
why would you… I could never….

I get it.

Teaching 8th graders can be brutal. Not many would tout their early teens
years as a time they would ever want to go back to, so why have I chosen to
walk side by side with 13 and 14 year olds for over two decades?

Middle schoolers are much like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a
beautiful butterfly. They just have to go through the awkward phases to
get to their full beauty and potential, and I get to witness this change
firsthand.

People often have it wrong.

Middle schoolers are caring, creative, and full of fierce emotions. They are
the ones who organize a blanket donation drive to take to the local animal
shelter. They build a robot that will run on a track, and they are the ones
who will get everyone to sign a petition to take to the principal to change
the dress code.

Teetering on the verge of adulthood and childhood; they so desperately
want to be grown up and independent, ready to emerge, and yet they still
need the shelter, assurance and safety of a cocoon. These are the years I
see them begin to work on becoming their true selves.

The late middle school years are the years where, just like a caterpillar
transforming, they experience hormonal changes. When it is time for the
caterpillar to become an adult, it finds a sheltered safe spot where it
transforms itself. Middle schoolers are looking for that same safe haven for
their own transformation. Some find it at home, others in the walls of a
classroom and some on the field or court with their coach and teammates.

The caterpillar sheds its skin, revealing the chrysalis. The chrysalis starts
out soft and skin-like, but gradually hardens to form a protective shell. I
see our teens starting middle school wide- eyed and excited still beaming
from the magic of childhood. By the time they reach eighth grade, they
have learned the harsh realities of the world and forming their protective
wall is a must.

They build their wall: hood up, headphones in, heads down, secluding
themselves. Trying to make sense of the world around them and figuring
out who they really are.

The change inside the chrysalis is slow and gradual. Several things are
happening and it is not a “resting” stage. The caterpillar’s old body dies,
just as a middle schooler says goodbye to their childhood self, goodbye to
their imaginary friends and stued animals. The swingsets have a few more
splinters as the wood starts to decay, and the climbing rope net starts
fraying. Their childhood becomes more memories than current life.

Walking the halls with their, “can’t crease their shoes” waddle. They say hello
to likes and views on their social media accounts, hello to staying up late
gaming with friends, and hello to binge watching their favorite Netflix
shows. Constantly checking the camera on their Chromebook, making sure
their hair is just so. This is their new reality.

Immense changes are happening. These teens are drowning in the reality
that they don’t know who they really are, why they feel the way they do, why
one moment they are bold and brave and happy and the next minute they
are drowning in a sea of emotions and feel like they can’t survive another
minute. It’s all so much to take in. Struggling to see the paper in front of
them from the tears welling in their eyes because their boyfriend broke up
with them. Their sadness is a heavy weight and they can’t imagine ever
feeling happy again.

They crave solitude and being surrounded by their friends. They want to fit
in and stand out. They want to do well and not care. They want to help
solve an issue and they create issues. They feel empowered and
unstoppable and yet like they can’t possibly wake up and complete one
more day. They are struggling with who they are and who they want to be.
They feel like they have to have all the answers to life’s problems already
solved, and they still don’t even know what the question is. They think they
are supposed to know what they want to do with life, when they haven’t
even been given all their options. They are supposed to care about
standardized tests, yet are taught their contribution isn’t limited to their
achievements. They want to just play for fun and they want to work hard to
make it to the next level. They will say they are sorry over and over again
and continue to make the same mistakes. They face academic pressures,
social challenges, and personal insecurities with a courage that is nothing
short of inspiring.

And yet, inside the chrysalis a new body with beautiful wings appears.
These middle schoolers are emerging. They are growing. These teens are
our future, they are the ones who will be fighting for our rights, who will be
creating the next big thing, who will be supporting us in our later years.
They are acutely aware of the world’s problems, and they are not content to
sit on the sidelines. Their wings begin to emerge.

When it is time, the butterfly breaks out of the protective chrysalis and
pumps blood into its newly formed wings. I believe we must pour into our
young teens to create the most confident, empathic beings we possibly
can before they are completely formed. With the goal that we have pumped
enough support, care and knowledge into them so that they can approach
the next stage with their heads held a bit higher and their faces uplifted.

So when people ask why I spend my days with middle schoolers, I respond
with if you really knew them you know that watching this metamorphosis
phase is one of the biggest privileges I could have. And at the end of the
school year, as I watch them fly away, I wave to them with a tear in my eye
and another notch in my heart.

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