As far back as I can remember, I have always “talked to myself”. Not in a creepy way, nor as if I am speaking in tongues. Or, trying to mask an underlying diagnosis (which I do not have). I talk to myself because I try to work through possible negative situations that may arise. Most of these self-creating interactions never happen, that’s the rub.
My mother is a self talker. I can recall my mom having full fledged conversations with herself while diddling away in the kitchen, or cleaning the house, or sorting paperwork. It is something that she has always done. It seems I took after her, I cannot help it. I never thought of it as bad.
My wife does though. She likes to point out to me, “who are you talking to?” She would exclaim, “you know I can hear you right?” Sometimes she would say, “Are you winning that argument?” while she shakes her head in disbelief. This gets to me. It makes me think, GOD maybe there is something wrong with me?
I am very much aware of my idiosyncrasies and nuances. I know that I tend to perseverate on items that may cause me stress. So I guess that I am preparing myself for a retort, or a better outcome, or even a way out.
Case in point, I am in my twenty sixth year as a teacher. I have always found myself to be very proactive when it comes to my students, especially the more challenging ones. Experience has taught me that I cannot solve difficulties alone, and that I always need help and support from the home. So I will take various steps with the child before I contact the parent. The large majority are in fact supportive, others view this as criticism of their child and respond in a defensive way. This is where self talk begins.
If a parent spins my concerns back in my direction, I get upset. I feel they will retaliate in some way about me, or will take things further along to my administration. If I respond in a certain way, I will replay the interaction over and over in my head, thinking of all the ways I should have responded. So I stew on the problem. I consider so many factors. If the parent chooses A, I have to go this route. If B, then this happens.
Now this self talk is not taking over my life, but I hear my wife in my head and it makes me question if this is appropriate or not. So, like any other self-respecting person looking up on Google or Web MD, I decided to see whether this is normal or nuts. Here is what I found…
First it must be stated that self-talk can be positive or negative. On the positive side it can help with dealing with stress and stressful situations. It can help aid in performance as well as manage feelings and problem solve.
On the negative, it can perpetuate and exacerbate negative emotions. If negative talk worsens, it can cause additional stress, anxiety or even morph into something detrimental to the person.
What made me feel much better about my research was how common it is for people to self-talk. It also happens to be healthy, and if used in an appropriate and in a constructive way, can have benefits (yay, thank God). True there are many that do not speak their thoughts out loud, however there are those that do.
As I wrap up this mini-blog, I am reminded by my wife that I am speaking out loud again while proofreading the article. I look at her direction and smile. If only she knew my inner dialog that I didn’t say out loud.
Psychology Today. (n.d.). Self Talk. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/self-talk
Zoppi, L. (2021, January 6). Is talking to yourself normal? [Review of the article by T. J. Legg]. Medical News Today, online.
Web MD Editoral Contributors. (2021, June 28). Why do people talk to themselves? [Review of the article by D. Brennan]. Web MD, online.
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